Here's father, his heart screwed on
Yes, here he's got it I'm sure
'Cause he lost his life in an accident
Found his heart in the man next door
  What exactly is gonna happen
  He says with his transplant mouth
  Will my borrowed brain still compute the same
  Or will my daughter stop her sleeping out

Here comes the girl, she's got her head screwed on
But it ain't screwed on right
Her ambition is to be a prostitute
But the breaks just weren't right
  What exactly is gonna happen
  When her father finds out
  That his virgin daughter has bordello dreams
  And that he's the one she wants to try out

Here is 'Ma, she is living dangerously
As I said she'll try anything twice
She thinks she can run right to the whirlpool's edge
And stop herself just in time
  What exactly is gonna happen
  When she finally fizzles out
  And the lovers will just be sucked into
  To see what the colors of death are all about

Here's the son, yes his legs are screwed on
Yeah, they're screwed on pretty tight
But his brain is loose and it ain't no use
He's already lost the fight
  What exactly is gonna happen
  When he's finally realized
  That he can't play his guitar like E.G. Jim
  Or write St. Augustine if he tried

  What exactly is gonna happen
  When the family finds out
  That they've been in orbit now for a thousand years
  And need a thousand more to climb out